Still Of The Night

In the still of the night

Whilst the world is asleep

She sits alone in the dark

With not a thought of counting sheep

 

The television is a distraction

A noise that breaks through the silence

But even that can’t stop the thoughts

Of which now make no sense

 

She checks her social media over and over again

In the hope of through the night she will find a friend

But nobody is around so she soldiers on alone

Oh how she doesn’t want to live her life completely on her own

 

Her mind comes alive on nights like this

Her thoughts consumed with so many whys and what if’s

Living in her present, remembering her past

Being hopeful for the future of finding a love that will last

 

No longer is she afraid of what others say or think of her

No longer a girl, no longer a child, no longer a quiet murmur

She has finally learned to love herself and accept the woman she is

A strong independent woman who like others battles with loneliness

 

The silence somehow is deafening as the night lingers on and on

She wishes for morning to break the darkness

So the birds wake up and sing their song

 

But whilst the still of the night remains here

Whilst the stars in the sky shine so bright

In the darkness she no longer feels fear

For a new day in her life is in sight

 

 

Goodbye My Lover

You would think that I don’t care but I do

You would think that I wouldn’t shed a tear but I have

You would think that I wouldn’t miss you but I can’t stop thinking about you

You would think that I don’t love you but I always will…….

 

You held my heart in your hands

But you let it slip through your fingers like grains of sand

You were the one for me and this I know

Now I have no place to go

 

My heart aches for you but you cannot see

Just how much this is hurting me

You asked me to go so you could be free

But darling I wanted you to forever be with me

 

Now I must accept that you are gone

You will find somebody else in the long run

Just thinking of that kills me and hurts me so

It makes me feel incredibly low

 

But if you should ever find your way back to me

Back into my arms, well here I will be

Waiting for you until the end of time when

You could find it in your heart to love me like you did once again

 

I will love you forever in life and in death

I will be thinking of you with my very last breath

You were the light of my life and with you life made sense

Now life is merely an abyss of loneliness

 

You were my soul mate, my lover, my confidant, my friend

Now that has been lost my life as I know it comes to an end

Please don’t forget there’s somebody who will always love you

Somebody who wants you and who will be there to get you through

 

I know that this may never be and if that is so

Then there is nobody to blame but me

But I have no choice and will keep waiting until the day I die

Because I have nothing if I cannot say that you are mine

A New Beginning

The sun arises

A new day has begun

A new beginning of my life

No more regrets of what I could have done

 

I clearly see now what I am meant to do

How I can regain control and how I can pull through

Nothing will ever defeat me

No one will ever make me feel bad

I refuse to live the rest of my life

Feeling lonely, bitter and sad

 

I will become stronger and wiser

A new me has evolved

Risen from the ashes of past breakdowns

I no longer feel a prisoner, no longer alone

 

Yes a new beginning of my life has started

The first chapter is written and says

That whilst my past is always with me it will not dictate

The woman I have become now on from today

The Man Who Won’t Be Mine

Our eyes met across a crowded room

He smiled at me and instantly I knew

He walked towards me in a manner so sure

The closer he got I knew I wanted him more

 

We talked and we laughed

Until late into the night

He then held me and kissed me

It felt so right

 

We gave in to our desires

Our bodies entwined and souls set on fire

Our eyes locked together

We wished we could stay that way forever

 

The morning awoke us with a cruel flash of light

A reminder that we had loved and lost in that one night

And whilst I sit here alone, I know I’ll be fine

With the memory of love from the man who won’t be mine

Need

I need your strong arms to hold me tight

To protect me and comfort me through the long dark night

I need your soft kiss to ignite a flame

To kiss away the hurt & kiss away the pain

 

I need to hear your voice to tell me everything is alright

That at the end of the tunnel will be a bright shining light

I need you to tell me you will always be here

As we grow old together through the passing of the years

 

To put it so simply I need you so much

I need to smell your scent I need to feel your touch

Will you ever need me as much as I do you

I am hopeful one day you will feel the same way too

The Lupus Blues

Lupus oh Lupus

How you wear me down

You make me sad

You make me frown

 

You take and you take

You never give up

From the pains in my limbs

To the fatigue which never stops

 

Why won’t you let go

Allow me to escape

Unleash your grasp

On my body I’ve come to hate

 

One day you will be beaten

Your disease will be no more

But for now I remain silent

Quietly battling this war

The Prayer

My heart it yearns for a simpler time

A time when my fears would not cloud my mind

To know my own self

To not be scared

To simply not worry and simply not care

But however I try I cannot escape

From the consuming pain of my heart which aches

 

I long for the day that this pain will end

Could you be the one who will be my best friend

Will you heal me, hold me and never let me go

Will you give me a place I can finally call home

 

This dream that I have of you and I

It speaks from my heart and my heart does not lie

One day I will find you

And my dream will come true

By you speaking from your heart

And saying I love you